Insomnia

It's 3.45 in the morning and I'm still wide awake. yes. I've finally given in to insomnia. Or maybe it's just the jetlag that I'm not over with. I've realised this for quite sometime, that my brain never seizes to work. I'm not saying that I'm making full use of my brain for studying purposes, but it never seems to shut. I think unnecessary stuff and it irritates me so much so that I get headaches. Wonderful isn't it? I could say that I'm having a mixture of feelings. I can't really make up what feelings are those baffling inside me, but I'm pretty sure it's not something pleasant. Did I cross the line too far this time without even me realising? I'm afraid so, but I didn't mean any harm, really. I could get really enthuist at things at times when I get and hit the right momentum and I tend to be drifted really far, I need a rope to pull me back before anything worse could happen. Sometimes, words are as sharp as spears. Words that comes out from your mouth without the filtration of your brain hurts even more perhaps. Maybe the momentum really gets me going. But afterall, I don't mean to upset you even more. I apologize for my foolish words.

Moving on, if you don't already know, I'm back from my London trip. Physically and mentally drained, but, in a good way. I'm not much of a travelling person, or so they say, but I enjoyed my trip overall. Going there for a vacation for a couple of weeks is enjoyable, but staying for 9 whole months to study is a different story. Mum thinks I'm not capable of adapting to the whole environment thingy seeing that I'm there all alone without anyone AT ALL. I hate to break it but I agree with my mum without contest this time. I really don't think I could survive myself there. I have never been thrown into a sea to fish on my own ever. Being the youngest in the family, my parents are wayyyy more pretoective over me compared to my sister, and no doubt, as clearly portrayed, I am indeed more vulnerable than my sis. My mum and dad are always by my side since birth, and if they're away from me, they put my sister as a substitute to babysit me and amke sure of my well being, and when my sis leave for UK 9 months back, KC was next in line to watch over me. But what happens if I'm in UK?? Without mum and dad? Without my sassy sister? Without fat KC? I'm so doommmed. Seriously, I couldn't picture myself being there all alone despite the fact that I don't make friends pretty well and trust me, I'm a lousy conversation starter. Oh my...I think this finally shows. My sister's the more academic and independant type, and I'm always given the title "shopaholic", "vein", "vulnerable" hmph.

I kid you not, I would really cry my way home. As I'm famous for doing so amongst KC and my parents teehee.

Ending this post abruptly as I am in desperate need to sleep now.

Nights world. =)