Boring

Current update of me: None. Nothing but lazing around at home, being an eye sore to my parents for doing nothing with my holidays, constant and continuous nagging from my parents to get my CV done, so on and so forth. Sister will be heading back to KL tomorrow which is bad news for me that I'll be all alone again enjoying the undivided attention from my parents. But on a brighter note, there will be mass amount of shopping thank you very much which wavers my concentration pretty much. KC never understands me, how I grin from ear to ear when I gaze into those shopping bags, how I grin even wider when I pull out that beautiful piece of cloth from its package mesmerizing its wonderful material is, how it fits me like a glove with its sheer material flowing down from my skin and... *slaps self*. Back to reality =.=

Currently reading a novel and I weirdly fell for a character in it. He's described as a rich playboy sort of guy, which he eventually falls for a mother with a child that performs miracles and how they have to hide their relationship for several reasons. What an adventure!! But I wouldn't want to be caught up in these situations if you ask me. It must be a hell of a time going through this underground relationship thingy. But what alternatives do we have if situations commands so?

That's all for now. Shall blog more if I feel the need of it to kill my boredom.

Insomnia

It's 3.45 in the morning and I'm still wide awake. yes. I've finally given in to insomnia. Or maybe it's just the jetlag that I'm not over with. I've realised this for quite sometime, that my brain never seizes to work. I'm not saying that I'm making full use of my brain for studying purposes, but it never seems to shut. I think unnecessary stuff and it irritates me so much so that I get headaches. Wonderful isn't it? I could say that I'm having a mixture of feelings. I can't really make up what feelings are those baffling inside me, but I'm pretty sure it's not something pleasant. Did I cross the line too far this time without even me realising? I'm afraid so, but I didn't mean any harm, really. I could get really enthuist at things at times when I get and hit the right momentum and I tend to be drifted really far, I need a rope to pull me back before anything worse could happen. Sometimes, words are as sharp as spears. Words that comes out from your mouth without the filtration of your brain hurts even more perhaps. Maybe the momentum really gets me going. But afterall, I don't mean to upset you even more. I apologize for my foolish words.

Moving on, if you don't already know, I'm back from my London trip. Physically and mentally drained, but, in a good way. I'm not much of a travelling person, or so they say, but I enjoyed my trip overall. Going there for a vacation for a couple of weeks is enjoyable, but staying for 9 whole months to study is a different story. Mum thinks I'm not capable of adapting to the whole environment thingy seeing that I'm there all alone without anyone AT ALL. I hate to break it but I agree with my mum without contest this time. I really don't think I could survive myself there. I have never been thrown into a sea to fish on my own ever. Being the youngest in the family, my parents are wayyyy more pretoective over me compared to my sister, and no doubt, as clearly portrayed, I am indeed more vulnerable than my sis. My mum and dad are always by my side since birth, and if they're away from me, they put my sister as a substitute to babysit me and amke sure of my well being, and when my sis leave for UK 9 months back, KC was next in line to watch over me. But what happens if I'm in UK?? Without mum and dad? Without my sassy sister? Without fat KC? I'm so doommmed. Seriously, I couldn't picture myself being there all alone despite the fact that I don't make friends pretty well and trust me, I'm a lousy conversation starter. Oh my...I think this finally shows. My sister's the more academic and independant type, and I'm always given the title "shopaholic", "vein", "vulnerable" hmph.

I kid you not, I would really cry my way home. As I'm famous for doing so amongst KC and my parents teehee.

Ending this post abruptly as I am in desperate need to sleep now.

Nights world. =)

Hello UK

Currently blogging in the hotel in UK. It's 5.05pm here and I'm still having jetlags. Don't blame me, but it only gets dark on 10pm, and the sun streaming in, lets say, 3am? Needless to say, it's summer here and trust me, the weather is no better than in Malaysia. Morning is exceptional, though. Waking up to walk out of the door to have a gust of cool wind rush through your face freshens you up for the day, and that is the best part of the day.

It was pretty fun. It isn't my first time here, but kc's following this time around which explains the adrenalin rush. Since day 1 upon arrival, I've been spending all day and night shopping. My feet knows no pain while I'm in the shopping mode, but the after math was tragic. I would just lie on the hotel bed til I'm sleepy, and I'll sleep. Times this routine by 3, and that's what I did for 3 consecutive days in London. Obviously, kc was a little put off by this whole shopping plan thingy, but, you know, girls =). Not to forget the pleasant present KC got me. I love it to bits though I know it puts a hole in your wallet haha, but I really appreciate it with every ounce of me. Love you dearly baby.

Don't really know what's up for tomorrow but I smell tonnes of walking, which spells B-A-D. I was never catered for walking. My body frame, my toothpick-ed legs, my low stamina and my tendency to stay under shady oak trees are all for indoor purposes, but my sister, who couldn't careless, sprints her way through every road giving me an extremely hard time catching up with her pace. I hope tomorrow's weather would be friendly. Not the scorching sun, but something breezy or cooling, perfect condition for a stroll around the town.

On another note, results are out TOMORROW!!! It kills me and my trip. I don't want to be upset on my trip here. It's not what I'm ready to face. Everyone's being cynical now except for those erm...outcast which have a brain capacity of Einstein. Do wish me luck. I hope I don't have to look forward for August, but September =)) That's all for now. Photo's will be uploaded the moment.........the laziness in me dies off =))

Flash Backs

Yesterday was hectic I would say. My eye laid wide open up til 5 in the morning and I have these flashbacks of what happened between me and someone so close to me not too long ago which, to my notice, brought tears to my eyes.
That someone was my closest friend ever which I've known for practically my whole life. We've been through every ups and downs of life together ever since we were a child and for all you know, she is someone I look up to as a role model. Someone whom I wish to follow her footsteps, someone which have all the criteria of being a good child or a student, to me at least. Though I was pretty much living under her shadow of success, I didn't really mind, in fact, I was proud even. We've had some bad times where arguments never fail to come and go, but it never last for more than a day, thats a guarentee. We never carry our anger and vengence to the next day, in fact, it will all be forgotten within a couple of hours. However, things started changing a few years back. Something happened and this bright and striking role model figure of her was suddenly blurred to merely shades which can't even make it up. Arguments that we had last time that never lasted a day, now lasted for months. Our conversation was somewhat awkward. Though we never speak about it to each other, but we know, that there's something inside us which the both of us refuses acknowledge it. This something had slowly become an issue to me and I started building barriers from almost everyone. It soured to a point where I would just turn on a total- ignore mode, minding my own business. My answers are just a plain yes or no, nothing more, nothing less. Things has gone way out of hand after months of enduring situations like this and finally, she spoke up trying to loosen the tension around us, but, foolishly, I refused. I did not want to talk to her because I was so shallow at that point in time to be against her when she needed my support the most. I could even remember, I pretty much ruined her birthday by making her cry. She came back all the way from her birthday dinner just so she could settle everything with me once more, but I hold up my guards and turn my back against her. I didn't even wished her a simple Happy Birthday.
Till one day, it was either a "do or die" day. None of us could tolerate this tense situation anymore, hence, she resorted to my parents. They tried to talk things out with us, but being as stubborn as I am, I literally ran out from the house, trying to avoid everything that was about to come. This rage in me was really eating me inside out. Things didn't get settled as wished, and yet again, it went on until up to one day, I was thinking the whole day about my foolish attitude towards someone I care for so much. Why would I want to hurt someone that I held so closely to me? Why would I want to hurt someone that I love equally with my parents? I finally let down my guard and apologized. A simple sorry from me made everything turn to a brighter view. I realised that during that point in time, I was not suppose to go against her no matter how much I hated it, but to stand by her side, cause I'm the only one she has, and she's the only one I have.
Now, we're closer than ever. I opened up so much to her and whenever I'm sad, she never fails to bring her little Donut to cheer me up knowing that I have this dog fetish. She is now going to be a lawyer graduate and still someone I look up to, forever and always, because she's my one and only SISTER.

Life's been a little hectic lately and yes I might be exaggerating a little but I do feel that life had sucked out the GLLLOOOWWWW in me. =D Classes are crazy as per usual and my finals is just lurking around the corner which explains the hectic life. Will be enduring and enjoying it at the same time. =)

On another note, despite the hectic-ness, happiness has also invaded my life recently. I would be lying if I were to say I never give a thought about it anymore. Every now and then, my thoughts do sway back to the past giving me a tinge of uncomfortable feeling but I've learned to accept it with grace. In fact, I felt redundant trying to fight the thought of it. Much patience and perseverance draws us one step closer to the Big TWO and I feel nothing but happy and glad about us and I hope this feeling will last forever and always.

I love you at hello, and I'll love you at goodbye.

Boringggg

I hate moments like this. In the gloomy evening, seems like it's going to rain but it's not, where everyone is packing their bags leaving for home while I'm stuck here with nowhere to go. Oh well, this might just be a training ground for me for my level of tolerance ANNNDDD perseverance. =) Call me cynical but everyone would share the same feelings as I do now if they were so blessed to be situated in my position now. I hope everything would brighten up a bit when I get home...some cupcakes maybe? Mind my addiction for cupcakes but they are just to deliciously addictive. What's more, they look as cute as can be. Now how do you resist THAT?

I'm sorry for the lack of photos here as I intelligently lost my camera's charger, hence, no camera to use and also conveniently lost my phone's USB cable, hence, no medium to transfer photos from phone to comp. =( Give me some time ok? I'll get things done real soon as I desperately need both of them.

I can't wait to go back home for Chinese New Year!! Somehow I just have this good feeling about it and the anticipation kills. I have to pull through one more week of classes and I'm over and done with...........for now. Lots of new clothes, lots of new shoes, lots of cookies, and lots of ANG PAUSS!! Just the thought of it is enough to drain all your motivation of studying away and just wait quietly for it to come. =D Shall go back home, have my dinner, shower, study, and maybe tv and I'll call it a day. A pathetic one may I add.

Till then! =)

Confession

After days and days of tears and a roller coaster of emotions, I've finally settled down nicely in front of my laptop, with a cup of hot milo sitting soundly on the table. I've calmed myself down after lodging much verbal complaints to my fellow friends and of course my dearest sis and I've learn to believe whatever kc says. This whole experience opened up my eyes, relationship wise and friendship wises and I don't think it would be easy for me to forget everything and live life like the way I do. Moving on's a must, but this is a lesson I've learned for life that I will always bear in mind to have barriers with certain people. Stop proving yourself. I don't want to know and I don't want to know how many guys actually likes you and stuff. You think I'll believe or even listen? Seriously I think its a whole lot of crap. All I want now is to start afresh with my bf and I hope YOU won't be interrupting that every now and then. Keep your hands to yourself, not to people's boyfriend. Especially to someone whom you're pretty close with before.

I can't forgive and forget. I can do it with kc, but not with anyone else. This incident is caused by your own hands, causing me to loose a friend.